its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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