All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
