I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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