I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Enjoy the penises
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
