There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize