I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
