Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
