i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize