The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
