...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
