It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
