if only i could text you this smell
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
