I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
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