I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
