Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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