wat bout pragnant strippers??
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
