I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
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I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
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It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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