is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
