People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
