Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
