i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
