I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
