The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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