you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
