I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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