i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
