I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they're like a gay fantastic four
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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