i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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