Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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