literally had 100 drinks last night.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize