I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize