How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
