well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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