If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
