How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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