I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
