I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
