Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
