Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
