its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
