we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
