Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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