I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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