btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
