We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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