I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
