My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
