Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize