well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
