so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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