There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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