So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I got inside last night via doggy door
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
