my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
