Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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