I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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