I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
