I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're like the curious george of whores
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
