He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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