he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
