Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
